The weekend TV schedule featured wall-to-wall football, so we figured hot dogs would be a nice treat while we watched the games on the Tube, accompanied by the usual suspects: beans, potato salad, cole slaw and pickles.
I'm not sure whether or not we violated Kosher Tradition by mixing the hotties with all of the other goodies, but it doesn't matter because we're not Jewish. We're just into it for the taste.
I enjoy Hebrew National hotties for this reason: Rabbis keep watch over the production process. They have to answer to a Higher Authority than the USDA. Although they're a bit saltier to my tastes than, say, Boar's Head hotties, I just feel more reassured when a rabbi gives his blessing.
(Note to the Religious Sensitives: if Hindu sacred scripture prescribed methods of preparation for hot dogs -- or for any other form of food for that matter -- I'd be cool with the oversite of a Hindu swami.)
Another reason I like Hebrew National hot dogs is that the purchase can be reduced to simple mathematics. A package contains exactly eight hot dogs, an integer that matches the number of rolls you can buy in one package. Other brand names package five dogs (Johnsonville) or ten (Ball Park Franks), numbers that never even out with the eight-roll purchase.
Maybe there ought to be a law...
Anyway, an hour before the Green Bay-Atlanta game on Saturday night, the time had arrived to cook 'em. Problem was, the dogs came vacuum-sealed in a plastic substance that, I think, the Navy may use on nuclear subs to deaden sonar pings.
The package had a pull tab printed up there in the top left corner that read "E-Z Open" but, you'll have to trust me on this, it was sealed tighter than a sea clam's sphincter. So I fought to open it for a few minutes until I gave up, walked out into the garage, and employed my trusty X-acto knife to finish the job.
Not being Jewish, I have to ask Hebrew National a couple of questions:
- Do I have to learn a prayer, or other form of "secret handshake," or something else in order to get the packet open?
- Do I have to convert?
Maybe rabbis should oversee the packaging process...
POSTSCRIPT: Everything tasted great!
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