The Truth About Cats

I stumbled over another one of those incredible Internet facts just the other day.

Seems as though a group of researchers at the Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine have been able to unravel the genome of "felinus domesticus," otherwise known as the Domestic House Cat.

Right there, embedded within helix 88 in the DNA, they came across a trait that we non-scientists have suspected was really there all along; the felinus domesticus Con Artist Gene.

Cats are, by their nature, inveterate grifters. Everyone who has ever owned a cat knows this. The same can also be said about dogs -- only cats are far more sophisticated in their ability to sucker their owners. 

As I attempt to write this, I am also trying to enjoy a Tuna Fish Sandwich (Big Mistake!) "Tank,", "Bart," and "Quinn" have thus far been successful in getting me to allot the juice from the can into exactly equal proportions while "Huck" invoked her ability to lay the Guilt Trip on me for the tuna flecks that were inextractable from the tin.

I can now hear "Bart" and "Tank" and "Huck" wrestling in the TV Room -- which is a sure tip-off that, if I go in there to break it up, the rest of the felinus domestici who I share space with will form a Catalonian Pyramid and climb up onto the desk to launch the Great Sandwich Raid, one of their standard diversionary tactics they have perfected worthy of Sun Tzu.

This has happened many, times before. Today, I'm not going to fall for the ploy.

But let's get back to the ISU Vet School.

The reseachers claim the Con Artist Gene showed up in cats' DNA about 70,000 years ago. Cave Kitties apparently began to impress Cave Men with their abilities to catch mice, rats, snakes and Big Bugs that tended to crawl around all over the place. I imagine Cave Kitties also amused their masters by chasing their tails, licking their you-know-whats, and rolling around in the dirt.

Folks back then were easily-amused.

For whatever reason, Cave Kitties got to become members of the Clan -- I, furthermore, am guessing that Cave Women injected most of the input into that decision. As a point of interest via indirect reference, cats preceded dogs into the world of Human Pet-Dom by about 25,000 years. Seems that it took that long for the mutts to get it, but 'twas ever thus.

I won't tell you for HIPPA reasons how many cats Carol & I have, but let's just say it's "a few." Except for "Toby," a jet-black Bombay who we "acquired for Five Hundred Bucks from a breeder, all the others are rescues.

We must have a big Neon Sign on the roof that only abandoned cats can see that reads: "Suckers Live Here -- Just Knock."

Ah, yes. The Con Artist Gene. Would I have it any other way?