Pumpkin, Shrinks & Other Things

Stray Cat Update

Remember "Pumpkin," nee"Tosca," nee Dona Ana, the world's greatest opera diva and flamenco dancing kitty?

The stray, female we rescued and had "attitude adjusted" a couple of weeks ago?

It's my duty and distinct honor to report that Pumps has settled into the hacienda's routine here quite well, thank you very much.

But there is this one small matter, so trivial, about this particular cat -- so minor -- that I am even now reluctant to mention it.

Oh, Hell! Why not?

To date, she has conned me into providing her with her very own Food Bowl, her very own Litter Box, her very own Nap Perch, and her very own Nappie-Blankie.

I must count my Blessings, however. Pumpkin takes her water, however reluctantly, with the rest of the knuckleheads -- the number of which I have vowed never to reveal.

I suspect they caucus when I am taking a nap, discussing the merits of forming a Union to bargain collectively for even more benefits of my hacienda.

(I suspect they overheard me say to Carol recently: "If I ever find evidence of a mouse around here, they're all fired!")

I never would have guessed that a kitty-kat could possess such organizing skills, and the true talents of a brilliant negotiatrix.

Proposed New Job Listing

I seldom mention the antics of our local Mayor & City Council -- controlled by a majority of Whackos, Neo-Con Wannabees, and Outed Tea Baggers.

What they do, collectively, to damage this city's reputation is beneath contempt. They've earned all of the ridicule they deserve.

However ...

Their latest example of nit-wittery involves severing the Utilities Department from Public Works -- in the name of cost-cutting and efficiency. Create yet another department, bring on additional professional staff, find them office space, rent/buy a fleet of trucks.

You see, the city fathers want to save us taxpayers some money ...

While you let that one sink in -- consider this: the council doesn't think the new department should be run by a Professional Engineer, which just happens to be a job requirement imposed by virtually every other municipally-owned utility on Earth.

You see, the City Manager has this friend ...

Memo to the city Human Resources Department: next time you post a job opening, advertise for a City Psychiatrist.

We need somebody who will check that certain members of the council, the mayor, and the city manager are taking their medication.

Did You Hear The One About ...

The Muscovy Duck that crashed into a business meeting over in Fort Myers, FL?

I am not making this up, but ...

It seems as though a businessman over there was having a meeting with a couple of his new clients in the Conference Room when the Duck crashed through the window.

The Duck then proceeded to hop up onto the Conference Room table and it started quacking loudly as it walked over the place, depositing alot of You-Know-What on the paperwork, the furniture and on the carpeting.

A few Animal Rescuers were called in. They finally wrestled the Duck into a sack and drove it to a pond several miles out-of-town where it was granted its freedom.

My guess is that the Duck didn't like the Quote ...