Sarah, We Love Ya, Baby!

New Year's Day last, I made a solemn resolution that I would do my best to compose a Sarah Palin Shaggy Dog sometime this year.

As everyone west of the Atlantic and east of the Pacific readily knows, a Shaggy Dog is a long, corny joke that leaves one initially groaning, then laughing -- sometimes hysterically.

How humans can generate two distinct reactions in this fashion is inexplicable --that is, go from groan to hysteria in less than 2 seconds. Who the Hell knows! I'm a Metaphysician, not a psychologist.

If you have an interest in discovering the origins of the Shaggy Dog, go back in the VM Archives and dig out the post I wrote concerning the topic last December.

For now, let's just say that an episode of "Seinfeld" or the old classic, "The Jack Benny Show" would qualify as stand-alone Shaggy Dogs, that is, if you catch my drift.

Whatever: my objective is framed  by the following criteria:

A Sarah Palin Shaggy Dog must contain her interaction with one or two of the following three elements, to wit: a Kangaroo; a Penguin; and/or a Duck.

As is in the case of virtually every Shaggy Dog, my objective is not to overly disparage nor denigrate the subjects. I'm attempting to find the Comic Boundary Line here, the one that separates humor from poor taste.

I will also state, for the record, that I am making  a special attempt not to anger the Kangaroo which, as we all know, can box at a world-class level.

And whether or not I rile Ms. Palin's feathers, however, is of no concern to me. She's the "Momma Grizzly" from Alaska and a former governor who ought to be able to take it -- a pol, I might add, who believes she has the Stuff to be President.

Sean Hannity, Rush, Glenn et. al. and the rest of her Neo-Con -Tea-Bagging supporters claim she has Presidential Timmmmm-buuurrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ouch!

But I digress...

Herewith are four Sarah Palin Shaggies which I consider works-in-progress, or in other words, exercises undertaken to prepare me for the Big One.

By all means, feel free to send me your "Palin Shaggies" if you're so inspired!

SD #1. Sarah Palin and a kangaroo reach the top of the Denali Glacier. By now, Palin's hands are freezing. So she says to the kangaroo: Do you mind if I stick my hands into your pouch, to warm them up? The kangaroo says OK. To which Sarah says: I feel crazy doing this. And the kangaroo answers: Dig down a bit deeper, and you'll feel nuts!

SD #2. Sarah Palin, a kangaroo and a penguin were climbing Mr. McKinley and Sarah looks at the Kangaroo and says: "Where's your backpack?" The kangaroo looks over at the Penguin and says: "What a silly ass! Doesn't she know I'm equipped with a Front-pack?"

SD #3. Sarah Palin and the Kangaroo are flying 1st lass from Fairbanks to DC. The Kangaroo looks out the window and shouts: "Holy Shit! There's a duck hanging onto the wing for dear life!" To which Sarah responds: "Oh, don't worry about him. He's just my speech writer."

SD #4. Sarah Palin, the Penguin, and the Kangaroo were sitting in a Nome bar throwing down "Depth Charges." After the 14th round, the Penguin passes out. But Sarah takes off her glassses, leans over to the Kangaroo and coos: "Y'know? You look great tonight! Why don't we --" The Kangaroo cuts her off, whispering: "Better to tell you now rather than later. I'm Gay." To which Sarah purrs: "I'm Happy, too! Let's get a room."

FOOTNOTE to SD #1. My apologies to Red Skelton...