"Atlas Belched"

Ayn Rand is back in the news -- as if she ever left...

Conservatives, especially the NeoCons and the Tea Party types, are currently hyping the conversion of Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged" into the wide-screen format.

Seems as though this crew considers the movie version a "must-see", right up there with that other cult fave of theirs, the forgettable Mel Gibson film, "The Passion of the Christ."

In case you're somewhat out-of-touch on such matters, "Atlas Shrugged The Book" showcases Rand's philosophy of Objectivism, which can be reduced to (in 20 words or less) her belief that an individual with intellectual ability will prosper best in an environment devoid of all types of regulation.

The book is essentially a 1,000-plus page rant about a woman who wants to run the family railroad. In that process, she gets into fights (essentially) with government regulators and the union.

Of course, she wins! Oh, and by the way, the novel also showcases hordes of other major and minor Rugged Individualists whose sole motivation in life is to screw the other guy.

Indeed, "Atlas Shrugged" takes on government regulators and union bosses -- a couple of topics near-and-dear the the hearts of the Tea Baggers and their ilk.

But "Atlas" contained much, much more "meat,"as we like to say, on a few other matters of importance, such as Individual Sexual Freedom, Feminism, and Atheism.

I often wonder whether or not  the Tea Bagging, Bible-Thumping, Palin-Loving, Flag-Waving, and Obama Loathing Crowd knows this.

Assuming they don't, I will now let the Cat out of the Bag.

• Concerning Atheism, Rand created characters who have absolutely no use for religion in any form.
• Concerning Sexual Freedom, Rand's characters engage in sex because it is, well, enjoyable -- and it's Fierce Fun!
• Regarding Feminism, Rand formulated one of the truly great "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar" characters of the 20th Century.

Because of all of the above, and much more, I have this very strong suspicion that the Tea Baggers and the NeoCons -- the Poster Children of the Evangelicals and the Fundamentalists --  have never, ever really, really read this work.

I say this because, if they actually had, they would have a few bones to pick with Ayn Rand's core points. Ask yourself: how can this Crew tout any novel based upon the belief that the Intelligent Individual trumps all -- and since it's all about Me, then there's no room left for believing in any deity?

How can this Crew come to terms with another of Rand's philosophical premises: that a Sexually-Free, Liberated Woman may choose to have an abortion in order to maintain her Intellectual Individual Freedom?

"Atlas Shrugged" contains several other conundra that the NeoCons should figure out before they go any further down the Road of their Alternative Nonparallel Universe.

You can judge all these matters for yourself if you're so inclined. Stop by your local Thrift Store and get the book in paperback form for a half a buck, and then take a few hours, days or weeks to plough through it.

And as far as the movie version goes, I think I'll pass.

I can take only so much Laissez Faire.